One of my kitty friends died yesterday. Her name was Cele, and this is what she looked like on her last day of life. The picture is deceptively pretty. You can't tell that one of her eyes was glued shut by this oozy goo, or that she was so weak from not eating that her back legs couldn't pick her up anymore. You can't hear her strange yowls or see the way her head would suddenly droop. In many ways her passing was a relief. I'm adding her to my Dia de los Muertos altar now.
In her younger days Cele was pretty. Little, lithe, and independent. We used to play a game where she would climb a tree, and scurry out to the branch right above wherever I was standing. And she is the mama of Buckley and Graham, the two brother cats that still grace the house where I live.
A friend of mine brought over this sweet lil bouquet with teensy mice in it. Kitty condolences. So nice.
This breakfast parfait to go of almond milk soaked chia + raw cacao mousse (recipe in a preceding post) was about the best thing that happened all day (other than the bouquet). Besides that I got myself in a bit of a gloom. Just off, you know? Uncomfortable in my own skin. It's cold outside and work was slow. I've got a crick in my neck. I feel simultaneously exhausted and lazy, like I'm not doing enough. Not reaching my goals fast enough. The voices in my head say a million mean things: you're weak, you're ugly, unremarkable, alone...all this and more. The best I can do for now is just be present with the gloom. It will pass I'm sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment